smilesaretootempting

In China, 1,500 All Time Low action figures were being created in a factory, but the first set of dolls was very unhappy with the way they looked.

“…” Jack Barakat screamed. Of course, in doll language, the Jack doll was actually saying “My hair looks great, even in doll form.”

“…” This was coming from Alex, who was really saying “Where’s my large penis!? I can’t find my penis! Why would the toy makers make us without penises?”

Zack just pulled out a banana from his tidy whities because he couldn’t understand how the other dolls were talking to each other. Dolls. Can’t. Talk. …Right?

“Jack! Help me find my dick!” Alex whined.

“Why do we have arms and hands, but no legs or feet?” Rian asked.

Then, just as they thought it couldn’t get any worse, Jack screamed, “Fuck! I can’t find my nipples” as he rubbed his chest which was completely flat. He tried to look down but he couldn’t move his head. “My nipples! Oh! I see my beauties! Why can’t I feel them?!” Jack said after using his arms to turn himself around to look at himself in the reflection in a piece of glass nearby.

“…!” Zack tried to scream only it came out as “…!” Nobody heard, but the rest of them just assumed Zack was being Zack.

Regardless of their complaints, they continued down the assembly line to get the copyright imprinted into their butts, a sensation that instantly shut them all up.